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Alcohol might be a shortcut to courage, but there's a heavy price to pay. And waking up on the floor is only one of them in Gil's case. Will Reverend Tom help him out? Will he ever let Dan lick his face again? Will Melvin stop calling him a cheapskate? Listen and find out. 

Transcript

Dan’s slobbery tongue was a rude awakening the next morning, but I guess it was just as rude for me to sleep on his mat. He wanted breakfast. I don’t know if he slept next to me or in my bed. There was also the rubber mallet trying to pound its way out of my skull. I forgot about what happened the next day after a hard night on the booze. It took about twenty minutes to get off the floor because my old bones weren’t used to sleeping on dog mats. I hobbled out into the kitchen and put on a cup of coffee, holding my head the whole time, and not being able to straighten up. The light shining through the window was searing my eyeballs so I put the blinds down. My cheek burned a bit too, but that wasn’t from the alcohol. Well, not directly. It took a few minutes to even remember how I got it. I didn’t have any hangover pills. Why would I?  

“Thanks for picking up for me last night,” I said to Dan. 

So I can safely say, like everything else at my age, hangovers are also way way worse. 

As the day wore on, memories of the night before slowly started coming back to me, and like anyone I suppose, after a drinking binge, I wished those memories had stayed lost in my mind. One of them was waking up around three o’clock to the dog lapping up my puke. It was the sound that woke me up, and for some reason it was worse than the sight. It’s at times like that when you realize that a dog is not a child dressed up in a dog suit, no, it’s a dumb animal, that does gross animal things. Like eating puke. Just the thought of it made me retch again. It’s making me retch now. [retching sound]

So anyway, I didn’t forget the most important thing though, and at the end of the day when my headache finally wore off, I drove over to The Reverend’s place. I was still queasy, but I couldn’t put it off any longer. 

We went for a walktalk, and I told him everything that happened, and he admitted everything Frank told me. He didn’t have much choice. 

“Will Frank get in trouble?” I said. 

“Not unless I want him to,” the Reverend said. 

“Do you?” 

“I haven’t decided yet. I might cut him off. He’s supposed to be sworn to secrecy. I mean he literally took an oath to God.”

“I hope you don’t.” 

“Why? I thought he made your life hell back in the day?” 

“Yes, but…what about you?” 

“What about me what?” 

“You took an oath to God too.” 

“Yes, and?” 

“You’re not a real minister.” 

“Who said that? I’m a licensed clergy, Gil. I just took on this job because I wanted to help people.” 

“Do the church know?”

“That’s not something I can talk about.” 

“So they do.” 

“I never said that.” 

“You didn’t say they didn’t either.”

“I didn’t say a lot of things.” 

“And that was one of them.” 

“We’re talking in circles here.”

“I might as well get to the point. I want to have another try.” 

“Sorry, Gil. I was afraid you were going to say that, but no.” 

“Why?” 

“My friend, you’re just not cut out for this. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Most people aren’t.”

“I wasn’t that afraid.” 

“Wasn’t that afraid? You literally…Gil, you soiled yourself.”

“Oh go on, I’ve done that a dozen times. I gets weak bowels when I’m nervous. Lots of people shits themselves when they’re nervous.”

“Um…no, they don’t actually…a dozen times?”

“Or so.”

“You should probably get that checked out, Gil.” 

“Sure you was just as scared.”

“We already went over this. I was testing you, and I had to act the part so that if you failed, you wouldn’t tell anyone that I was part of…what I’m a part of.”

“Well, maybe you acting scared made me scared. Stuff like that is contagious. You’re a damn fine actor I’ll give you that.”

The Reverend bowed in thanks.

“Give me one more chance,” I said. 

“Once you get written off by the organization, you’re written off. There are no second chances.” 

“Just tell them I’m someone else. I need this Reverend.” 

“I already got in enough trouble for telling them I switched your son with you. I explained the situation, but they weren’t pleased to say the least.” 

“I don’t have the money and I’m running out of time,” I said. “I haven’t sold my house. Maybe I’ll never sell it for the price I wants.” 

“How are you running out of time? Are you sick?” 

“I’m a very old man. It’s the same thing. I’m on borrowed time.” 

“But are you sick though?” 

“No. My last check-up said I was fine, but you know how it is at my age. A bad case of heartburn could kill me. This hangover might kill me yet.” 

“I’m surprised Frank didn’t kill you.”

“Just give me one more shot. You can say my real name this time. They’ll never know the difference. It’s not like the refugees will be the same people. No one will know. Only you. The guys operating the boat couldn’t see my face anyway. It was too dark.” 

“I’m sorry, Gil. Your son is cut out for this racket. You my friend, are not. The test wasn’t even meant for you, but I took a chance in hopes that you would surprise me. You didn’t. There are no second chances. There’s too much at stake.”

“How do you know he’s cut out for this? I knows him better than you, and let me tell you, he haven’t got a clue. He’s crazy enough to do anything.” 

“I know, Gil, that’s why I picked him. He’s crazy enough to do anything, and you’re not. You need to be a little bit crazy to do this sort of thing. You’re a sensible, God-fearing man, who should never be caught up in this. I don’t mean to say that your son isn’t sensible—”  

“Oh he’s not. You don’t need to apologize.”

“But say what you want, nothing seems to scare him much. He got a nerve like a grindstone, as my grandfather used to say.” 

“That’s right. Smuggling don’t scare him. Cops don’t scare him. Mortgages don’t scare him. Common sense don’t scare him…”

He put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, buddy, let's head back to the house. I want to help you, but they are very strict on this. We are breaking the law of the land, Gil. Not provincial law either. Federal.” 

“Have all the people caught so far been involved in the church?” 

“No idea, and I wouldn’t tell you if I did.” 

“So what about Melvin, anyway. Is he off your books now too?” 

The Reverend grinned and took a moment to answer. “No.” 

“So he’s going out again —I mean again for the first time?” 

“Well…I can’t really talk about that either. You’re not even supposed to be involved in this. I shouldn’t even be talking to you.”

“So what if I talked to him?” 

“About what? I’m not going to let him switch with you, even if he agreed to it. Which, let's be honest, he won't.” 

“I’m well aware how selfish my son is, Reverend. But he needs a boat, and I can guarantee you, no matter what he made off the last trip, he don’t have a cent of it now. I’d say it’s lucky if he even paid down on his mortgage.” 

“Well, I can’t speak to any of that. You know him better than I do. So if you want to work out a deal with him, with the boat or whatever, I guess there’s not much I can do about that.” 

“Don’t you need a safe house?” 

“But you’re selling your house.” 

“I can take it off the market. If everyone is paying as much as those last folks it won’t take long to save up the money.”

“How long do you have?” 

“Around…um…I can’t remember, but not long. 

“Not long is not much.” 

“You’re telling me. Do they pay for halfway houses too?” 

“They do, but…no, I can’t do it. If you want to work out something with Melvin and the boat that’s up to you. But I can’t have you officially involved in the system. You only get one shot, and it didn’t work out.”

“Do Frank have people at his place?” 

“No.”

“Would you tell me if he did?” 

“No.” 

The next day I called Melvin, and when he answered I had a piece of paper held up with, We need to talk, but in person. Its about money. 

“What about it,” he said. 

Cant talk about it here. 

“Well, we can’t go out by the door and shout at each other either.” 

“I’ll have to fly up there,” I said. 

“Seriously? I can’t lend you money, Dad. Believe it or not I actually did put it down on the mortgage…and a new car. I know you want the shot, but I just don’t have it.”

I realy cant say anything, I wrote and held up to the camera. We need to talk in person. I have a propisition for you. 

“This is a Chinese app, Dad. It’s probably recording everything you’re showing me anyway. And you almost spelled proposition right, I’m surprised.” 

Its the best way to communicate rite now.

His girlfriend poked her head in the screen, and I snapped the sign down.

“What’s he saying to you?” she said. “I can’t hear anything. You have the volume turned down? Is there something wrong with his camera? Why is he using signs? Hi Gil! Can you hear me Gil? Gil? Where’s Dan? Here Dan, come on boi! ” 

Dan pushed himself up on his feet and waddled over to the camera. He whined as Audrey kept talking to him for way longer than I figured she would. Five minutes later she was asking him what he wanted for Christmas, but all she got back were barks. Somehow she made this out to be bacon treats. When she finally left the screen I confirmed that I was flying up.  

“Must be some important,” Melvin said. “You’ve never been here before.”

“Sure you just moved there,” I said. 

“Dad, I’ve been in Ontario for five years.”

“Nah, haven’t been that long.” 

“Five years. I think I’d know. Bring Park with you.”

“Yeah…yeah, maybe…” 

“I’ll pay for his ticket,” Melvin said, rolling his eyes. 

“Up to you.” 

“Yeah, up to me,” Melvin said, shaking his head. “I suppose at least now with the shot you got an excuse for saving money, other than being cheap.” 

“I always had an excuse for being…” 

“Ha! You almost said it! For the first time in your life you almost admitted that you’re a cheapskate!” 

I didn’t almost say it. I was going to say, “Careful.” But there was no point in trying to argue that with him. He had been calling me a cheapskate since he was a little boy. He heard his mother say it to me enough times. Watching your money doesn’t mean you’re cheap. I don’t care what anyone says. 

And I don’t care what Lig says either.